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  • Writer's pictureSonia Sinha

The Benjamin Franklin Effect: How Small Acts of Kindness Can Influence Relationships

Human behavior is a complex and fascinating subject, particularly when it comes to interpersonal relationships. The Benjamin Franklin Effect is a psychological phenomenon that sheds light on how a simple act of kindness can influence the way we perceive and interact with others. Named after the renowned polymath Benjamin Franklin, who first described this phenomenon, it reveals the power of reciprocity and the potential to turn adversaries into allies. In this article, we will explore the Benjamin Franklin Effect, its underlying principles, and its implications for building and strengthening relationships.

The Benjamin Franklin Effect Explained

The Benjamin Franklin Effect can be summed up by the following statement: "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged." Contrary to popular belief, this principle suggests that people are more inclined to develop positive feelings and attitudes towards those whom they have helped, rather than those who have helped them.

The concept was derived from an incident involving Benjamin Franklin during the 18th century. Franklin, facing opposition from a political rival, devised a clever strategy to win him over. Instead of asking the rival for a favor, Franklin approached him with a seemingly trivial request: he asked to borrow a rare book from the rival's personal library. The rival, flattered by the request, willingly lent the book to Franklin. As a result, their relationship improved significantly, with the rival becoming more friendly and cooperative towards Franklin.

The Psychological Explanation:

The Benjamin Franklin Effect can be understood through cognitive dissonance theory and self-perception theory. Cognitive dissonance theory states that individuals strive for consistency in their thoughts, beliefs, and actions. When someone performs a favor for another person, their brain seeks to rationalize the kind act by assuming that they must genuinely like the person they helped. This cognitive dissonance creates a shift in their attitude towards the person they assisted, leading to more positive feelings and behavior.

Similarly, self-perception theory posits that people infer their own attitudes and emotions by observing their own behavior. When someone helps another person, they perceive themselves as helpful, generous, or kind-hearted. Consequently, their perception of the person they assisted aligns with these positive self-perceptions, resulting in increased liking and affinity.

Implications for Building Relationships:

Understanding the Benjamin Franklin Effect can be a valuable tool for building and nurturing relationships. By initiating small acts of kindness, we can create a positive cycle of reciprocity and foster stronger connections with others. Here are a few ways to apply this principle in practice:

  1. Seek opportunities to help: Look for opportunities to assist others, whether through lending a hand, offering advice, or providing emotional support. By doing so, you initiate a positive dynamic that can lead to greater rapport.

  2. Show appreciation: Express gratitude when someone does something for you. This acknowledgment not only strengthens the bond between you but also encourages the person to view you in a more positive light.

  3. Collaborate and cooperate: Engage in collaborative activities or projects that allow for shared experiences and mutual support. When individuals work together towards a common goal, it enhances their perception of each other.

  4. Be genuine and sincere: The Benjamin Franklin Effect relies on authenticity. Ensure that your acts of kindness are genuine and come from a place of sincerity. People are more likely to respond positively when they perceive your actions as heartfelt rather than manipulative.


The Benjamin Franklin Effect highlights the intriguing dynamics of human behavior and the potential for positive change in relationships. By leveraging this phenomenon, we can transform acquaintances into friends, opponents into allies, and create a harmonious environment of mutual support and goodwill. By embracing the power of small acts of kindness, we can unlock the full potential of our social interactions

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